Dishes are for nerds

You’ve got a pile of dishes in the sink. Three plates on your desk, two cups on the dresser, and a pan on the nightstand. Cutlery litters your living space. All of it’s dirty, unusable, and you’re damn hungry. Not to mention, your roommate’s hookup is eating breakfast in the kitchen, and you’ve been really great so far about not making eye-contact, so let’s try to minimize our time in the kitchen as much as possible, alright?

Now all of this could have been prevented you know how?

One plate. One cup. One bowl. One fork, one knife, one spoon, and BOOM.

No dishes.

No cleaning, scrubbing, brushing, soaking, crying, none of it. Just rinse and reuse. Use hot water. Use your hands as the damn sponge if you need to. And, no kitchen necessary use the bathroom! Revolutionary.

You’re never gonna need more than two bowls at once. What are you, the Queen of England, eating a soup and salad before the meal? Yah alright, bud. Put the salad in a cup. Or eat the soup first, rinse it, then eat the salad after. Use the same fork for your pasta and your salad. The universe gave us lips and a tongue simply for this purpose.

Your dishes start to look kind of stained after a while, but if water alone doesn’t rinse it off, then it’s not contaminating your food, either. That’s science. I’ve done my research.

Hot date comes over? Okay, yeah, maybe you clean them. Or, or, or… you just hide them somewhere.

Nobody’s looking at you. Nobody cares. It’s cheaper. It’s better for the environment. Saves time. It’s brave, it’s bold. Do it.

Doing your dishes is for chumps; you’re not a chump, are you?

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